This Week

This week was busy...Andy was out of town Tuesday & Wednesday. Tuesday was extremely uneventful - Amanda says you're either going 90 miles an hour, or at a dead stop - Wednesday, I barely had time to go to the bathroom. I love it when its like that, and when Andy's out of town it usually takes a day or two for things to "trickle down". I'm excited about Team Dixie-James...I stand to learn a lot from this job, and I am ready. I have started to really get a feel for what I do, how to "read" Andy, and what kinds of important info he's likely to leave out.

I really don't know how many people, or who all reads this blog. I wish it was more than it is. I wish that I "rated" enough for some of the LPC staffers to read this blog, however meaningless it is. It is a "window" to my thoughts, and that's something that I want people to have, but can't directly give them a ladder for them to get up to that window. I've felt much more introverted since I've been here...I think its partly b/c I am outside the LPC "clique", and because I tend to act like a turtle when I am out of my comfort zone. Dan gave Lily a sunflower, and its blooming...mom suggested that I invite Dan over to see it. Now, I know that she didn't mean to imply that I was inviting Dan over for any other reason than to see that sunflower; but the notion that it might be taken that way just is to much for me to handle. I feel like I "sympathize" with the "overweight, single woman"...that I'm invisible.

~~BOY, this blog is really all over the place!!!~~

But, sometimes I look at myself and think...I am pretty. I know I am a great person, and that my "looks" will fade. I just wonder about the person that God might have chosen for me: what do they like, how will we meet, what will be the deciding factor that makes us like each other? You meet people - men - and you sometimes don't think much of it...until you realize that you like that person. Oh well... just some left over bullshit from my last relationship.

I read Cammie's blog, and think...why don't I think like this? She's so thoughtful, and thankful. She seems well-rounded, and gets all her chores done. I remember when I used to do all that stuff. Except the laundry...I NEVER did the laundry. Until Lily and I lived alone, in Jasper. I always did the laundry there. I didn't have a washer and dryer to pile clean clothes on top of. Another tangent.......

Long story, short...I am happy, and satisfied here. I have grown to understand that I am different. My life is different, my family is different, and me and Lily and different from other mother/ daughter pairs. We're unique, and special...and we are making our own way.

So, from Cammie's borrowed laptop...I say "goodnight". And, Andy, if you read this...I sure do like having a laptop at home. :)

Rules of Mississippi

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

3. They are cattle. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it.

4. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 cotton strippers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

7. Yeah, we eat catfish &; crawfish. You really want sushi &; caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

9. Men open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.

10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham &; turkey.

11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and Picante Sauce! ! Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!! real chili never met a tomato!

12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

13. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.

15. Colleges? Try Mississippi State, Univesity of Mississippi or University of Southern Mississippi. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come for the holidays.

16 We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines, than any other state, so don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best.

17. Mississippi is the greatest state ever!! If you are from Mississippi you are bad dude !!!

Fun Times

I've been hanging out with Cammie...we've gotten together the past 2 nights. Its been really fun, and something I don't usually get to do. I went to the beach today with Cammie and Missy [Valesco], and our kids. It was really fun. I actually got some sun!!! And yes - mom - I wore sunscreen...spf 50. It was fun...Lily even got into the ocean, something she's NEVER done before. I was proud of her, she actually loosened up and had fun with Savannah. She's in the cloud bed at Cammie's right now. Andy is somewhere. He was supposed to go to New Orleans with Jordan, Erica, and Holly; but they ditched him. I think that sucks!!!!

Well, I'm watching "Intervention" with Cammie. I know I never blogged about 10 things you can only do in the Bay, but I can't think of anything good.

I've Still Got It!

Last night I was pondering the different men that have expressed interest in me...and wondering if I would ever meet a "good man". I've changed a lot since I was a teenager, not just my personality either. I've gained a lot of weight...a lot. So, of course, I'm always wondering if men find me attractive, in spite of my obvious addition to food. I've had no shortage of men in my life...but I guess now, that there's not a man in my life, I feel more like a blob.
But at lunch today, at Los Tres, I discovered that I've still got IT. Our waiter, Hector, came up to our table and told me that "chin-strap" chip server-dude likes me. I thought...oh, that guy...the flirt. Called me muy bonita the first time I was in there...and I've heard he's hit on several LPC people. Maybe not hit on them, but its known that he's a flirt. Hector tells us that dude is a little younger than he is...so we ask Hector, how old dude is. Seventeen, Hector said.

SEVENTEEN!!!!!

Holy Shit, that's nearly 9 years younger than me! I felt really old, and laughed to myself thinking...yeah, he wishes he could date me. And then I thought...doesn't he know that's illegal???? So, maybe I don't really have "it"...but I have something, something that attracts all the wrong men. I have idiot radar...if there's an idiot around, I must date him. So, this is my proclaimation, that I may be getting "old", and fatter every day...but I've still got it! [whatever "it" is]

Celebrities Have Cellulite Too!

Someone forgot to airbrush this photo...wonder if she got them fired??

Huh?

Is that Cammie's hat on Britney? So nice of you to share, Cam, since Brit's head is probably feeling a little cold these days.
Please tell me that is has Kate boogers in it! heheheheee!!!!

Life is Happening...

Every day, whether we like it or not. I stole my title from Andy's blog...but it seemed appropriate given what today has brought on. One of my very best friends had surgery today for ovarian cancer. I do not know the details, but I am sure doctors removed her ovaries and also took some of the tumor from her abdomen. Her sister emailed several of us this news today. I knew that she was going for tests yesterday, her doctor found that her liver and spleen were enlarged...I just couldn't imagine something this terrible. I know everything happens for a reason, and that God is in control; but I am selfish and I don't want to lose my friend and I don't want her to suffer. I couldn't take my eyes off the word "chemotherapy", in the email from her sister...just sat and stared and thought about the effects it will have on her body, and the way she will feel, and how scared she must be. I wish I could be there with her to encourage her. But I'm not. I guess that's what I'm struggling with the most, knowing that I can't just drive downtown to Parkridge and see her. I had to shut myself in the bathroom here...then Andy came to see what was wrong, I could hardly tell him. I didn't want to say it, it would make me cry more (ya'll who know me, know I hate to cry)...but I finally got it out. Then it was over...I started to calm down, to realize that God is in control.
Sometimes its just so hard to be a grown-up...Lily has no clue why her uncle Terry died, or what cancer is. She has no clue right now that one of my best friends in laid up in the hospital, scared that she's going to die. She is thinking about Tom Davis, how short the time was before he was gone...all I can do is pray, because life is happening.

Was I in the Hospital?

Nothing says "I love you" quite like a big bouquet of hospital flowers! Did I miss something? Did I have outpatient surgery??? Please tell me I had my stomach stapled!

I received these flowers from my "ex" boyfriend Jason...he ordered them on Monday, but failed to tell the florist anything but the name of the company I work for, and the city we're in. So, no surprise that I didn't get them Monday! Its not that they aren't pretty...they are...its that Jason always sends roses, and to get these is like a step down. Several steps down from roses. I don't even prefer roses...that's just what he sends! I am a creature of habit...and I am used to - when I get flowers from Jason - getting roses. If I was the one sending the flowers, and I sent him anything other than what I always send, he would be suspicious. They are pretty...the more I sit here and look at the picture, I do like them. They're just not what I'm used to. It would be like me going to Big River Grille, and the waiter telling me they are out of pepperjack nachos!
Yes, I am whining about the flowers, because they're not what I always get. How dumb is that?! Pretty dumb...


Stay tuned...for 10 things that you can only do in the Bay.

Ru Ru

This is Rudy, the clone of George. He's 10 months old, and weighs 7 lbs. Yeah, I'm his proud momma! He's such a good kitty!

Ho Hum...

Its just another day in the Bay...I'm the only one in the office, the doors are open so there's a nice breeze. Lori refuses to let us turn on the AC...I mean, we're allowed too, but she complains and turns it off. She thinks she is the queen of the world. I like her a lot, but she is loud and opinionated. But, we can all be loud and opinionated sometimes. The breeze is nice though...its been looking like it might rain, and the weather channel said scattered thunderstorms. I haven't seen a drop of rain yet though.
Kelly Conwell posted on my last blog. I've emailed her twice...but no response. I'm starting to think that my comment about missing talking to her [about her] may have offended her???? No, not Kelly! :)
I adopted a kitty today. I know Mom's gonna be pissed, but Lily and I have wanted a cat so long; but couldn't have one b/c we lived under my parents' jurisdiction. I thought, Haley has a house...we can all get together over there. I don't want them to stop coming over, but I can't keep telling Lily she can't have a cat. I want her to have a pet here...and the goldfish I got that time didn't work out. Plus, we're rescuing this sweet little guy from an animal shelter. We were going to get a puppy...but the more I thought about it, I realized that I don't have the time or the desire to have another "baby". And that's exactly what puppies are; they're like having another baby! Besides, I can make sure the cat is brushed all the time, and they make anti-dander shampoo.

Mom picked up my other phone, the one Jason had. He's a crazy person, nuf said. If you are my friend, you know what happened. Wait...do other people besides my friends/ family read my blog??? Nah...but once someone from Canada read a post of mine. I was so proud! :)

Better get to work.

Monday Monday...

Back in the Bay after a trip to Tennessee over the weekend...I was so anxious to get to TN (really Ft. O), and the drive up was nothing. But the drive back was so freakin long! I still haven't unpacked everything, it sucked to come home to things in boxes. Good new, Dad got my dryer hooked up and put up my new mailbox. I even got one piece of mail, but it wasn't addressed to me.

Here's the best part of my day: Celebs are just as fat and stupid looking when they're pregnant!!!! Tori Spelling could at least wear something cute, instead of this over-sized looking polo shirt and other crap. Geeze! I have better fashion sense!

My Beachy Bean

Lily in Gulf Shores, AL

Gulf Shores & All Kinds of Stuff

Last night was our first night in Maralago, the swanky house we're staying in. I say its swanky b/c I don't think I've ever stayed ina vacation house this nice. Its got 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, and a golf cart you can drive to the beach. We all went to the beach today, and we were having a a great time until Lily tripped running from a wave and fell on her face in the surf. It was pitiful, she got all wet and we had to leave the beach for the day. She got her jacket wet, that's why we had to stay off the beach for the day...its so cold and windy.
Lily is enjoying being with Kate, and the other baby, also named Lily. Cammie and I went on a little bike ride last night; it was probably really late...didn't look at the time. Of course, I've been fighting non-stop with Jason since I've been down here. Funny how all that stuff he promised (supporting me, standing behind me, trusting me) went out the window when I got here. I guess he is just showing his true colors. He was all bent out of shape about me coming here, wanted to know what the sleeping arragements were/ are. I told him there were 3 bedrooms, but that wasn't good enough. He wanted to know who I was going to be sleeping with. He is so screwed up in the head...its so sad. Hard to believe that this is the person that was so wonderful, not 2 weeks ago. He just doesn't believe that I could possibly be faithful to him. I guess he's better off alone. I bought and sent him a cell phone, added a line to my plan. The phone was free, so its not like I'm out money on that...I sent it yesterday, so he should have it today. I haven't heard from him, but we didn't have the best conversation last night. I was a little tipsy and he (as usual) was being an asshole.
Lily is swimming...Andy and Kate were here, but they ditched us when Kate pooped her pants. Lily has befriended 2 older ladies, she is officially introducing herself to them now...getting their names, and sharing hers. I remember being like that when I was a kid...she's so sweet and cute. Her teacher at school told Mom that the studies were a little elementary for her. She's a freakin genius!!
We're about to go back to Maralago and I'm going to get a beer. Lily's gonna take a bath.

Thinking of you, during my first vacation in 3 years!

BSL

Well, I'm officially moved to the Bay...in 'my' house, and working. Lily started her new pre-k yesterday, and she really likes it. She played with a girl named Anna Marie yesterday-that's a good French, Catholic name.

Jason's been flaky...I've been going out with some women (Haley, and some Lagniappe women, and Cammie); so he has been really pissed about that. Saying, he knows how I am when I drink. I'm NOT getting blizted at Outback, ok! And yes, we did go thru a drive-thru daquiri hut; but I drank my daquiri when I got home. Well...some of it. It was frozen and too cold. Its in my fridge right now. Jason would DIE if he knew that I went to a drive thru daquiri hut! Hehehehe. I bought him a cell phone, added him to my plan; but now I'm rethinking whether or not I should send it to him. He's being such a moron...and he knows it too!

I am going to Gulf Shores with Andy, Cammie, and our girls...we're meeting up with his brother and sis-in-law and their daughter, Lily. Cammie and I bought the girls matching bikini's from Target. They're so cute! I am looking forward to having fun with friends.

Well, its time [probably] to get back to work. Andy is letting me off today at 2:00 so I can pack.

Is This a Chick?

nuf said...

The Kitchen of My "New" House

This is the kitchen of the house I'm renting...for $450/mo. Its about 900 sq/ft, and its SO cute. I paid a deposit on it today.

Among other news, I found out that I've been divorced since November, so I can marry! I am so thankful for the way things are turning out. Things are really falling into place for me [and Jason] living here. I am headed back to TN tomorrow to pack up my house and make my home in BSL!

The Realtors Down Here SUCK!!!!!

They don't give 2 shits about helping me find a place. I looked at a house in BSL that is cute, [smelled funny]...the realtor didn't really act like she cared one way or the other about showing it. Probably b/c she doesn't make any money from rentals. It is brick, 3/4 bedrooms, ONE bathroom...a "jack & jill" style bathroom. It has tile all through the house, which I don't like. I guess it would be easy to keep clean with 2 kids. I told the realtor that Jason and Kara would be moving down, called him my boyfriend...Mom was quick to interject that we were getting married.
She doesn't seem to like the idea of us getting married, and commented that I just can't wait [can I]. Its like parents don't remember that they went out on a limb when they got married. Jason and I know its going to be work, not every day, not ever week...but we will have to work at it. I haven't even felt like I understood before, or that the person that I was with understood that married/ longterm relationship would take WORK. It is very assuring to me. I am happy and I am confident. But still,"it feels right" isn't an acceptable reason to get married...not even I love him, he loves me, we want to have a family, BE a family.
I sent Jason flowers today, I guess he hasn't gotten them b/c he hasn't said anything about them. He called as I was pulling out of yet another apartment complex that didn't have anything available. I was/ am stressed and a little irritable and I know he could tell...I really miss him. I was walking on the beach yesterday and kept thinking how much better it would be to be walking while the girls played; with his arm around my shoulders. I can't hardly stand it!!! He is coming at the end of March.
Well...I'm sitting with Cammie and I'm done.
Later Gators!

My Beautiful [not that kind] Ring

Isn't it gorgeous!!! I love it. The only terrible thing is, I've lost a diamond! Jason is going to take it back tomorrow and do I don't know what with it. He's talked about another ring he says he should have bought. So, who knows...Thursday I may be posting a picture of a different ring! He was pretty ticked, since we've only had it a week. But I don't blame him. I couldn't help but laugh when I noticed the missing diamond...knowing he would be mad. He wants to make sure I have the best.

Things have really been great this week. We made a pact to have a great week. I am going to miss him so much! I don't even want to think about not being able to see him every day. Mom said it was good for her and Dad when they were in college. I just can't imaging much I'll miss him if he doesn't move.

Ok, enough mushy BS...geeze! Who has thrown up over my barfy blog??? :)

Yey for me!!!

Well...the countdown has begun, this morning when I clocked in. I currently have 33 hrs & 50 [work hours] minutes until I am FREE from Covenant!!!

I have been upset about leaving Jason behind, but we seem to have come to agreement on how to remedy that problem: He will move! Its gonna be big, for him and me. This is much more of a commitment than just "being boyfriend & girlfriend", for him to move all the way down there for me. I can't keep worrying that people will think we're rushing. I have to keep telling myself, I can't expect people to understand how we feel; I don't need people to understand how we feel. I just can't shake that thought...why do I crave approval? I really hope that instead of wondering what people will think, that I can just soke up the fact that I have something that few people find: someone who loves me, makes me laugh a million times a day, makes me feel beautiful, smart, funny, etc. Yes, we argue [over really dumb stuff], but who doesn't argue??? We always apologize, make up, and try as hard as we can not to do it again. He has made such progress and come so far, since this summer. He told me last night he would support and stand behind me not matter what. I don't think that's something he could have told Kallie. She didn't love him and respect him enough to have his love and respect. I just feel really good about it, and really happy. We're going to stay in our little bubble as long as we can...hope this bubble is stretchy!

Ick

Ohmiga....why are these people famous?
She's orange, and he's red (and has old man body going on). Jon Bon Jovi should kick him out of the band!















Denise Richards & Richie Sambora