They don't give 2 shits about helping me find a place. I looked at a house in BSL that is cute, [smelled funny]...the realtor didn't really act like she cared one way or the other about showing it. Probably b/c she doesn't make any money from rentals. It is brick, 3/4 bedrooms, ONE bathroom...a "jack & jill" style bathroom. It has tile all through the house, which I don't like. I guess it would be easy to keep clean with 2 kids. I told the realtor that Jason and Kara would be moving down, called him my boyfriend...Mom was quick to interject that we were getting married.
She doesn't seem to like the idea of us getting married, and commented that I just can't wait [can I]. Its like parents don't remember that they went out on a limb when they got married. Jason and I know its going to be work, not every day, not ever week...but we will have to work at it. I haven't even felt like I understood before, or that the person that I was with understood that married/ longterm relationship would take WORK. It is very assuring to me. I am happy and I am confident. But still,"it feels right" isn't an acceptable reason to get married...not even I love him, he loves me, we want to have a family, BE a family.
I sent Jason flowers today, I guess he hasn't gotten them b/c he hasn't said anything about them. He called as I was pulling out of yet another apartment complex that didn't have anything available. I was/ am stressed and a little irritable and I know he could tell...I really miss him. I was walking on the beach yesterday and kept thinking how much better it would be to be walking while the girls played; with his arm around my shoulders. I can't hardly stand it!!! He is coming at the end of March.
Well...I'm sitting with Cammie and I'm done.
Later Gators!
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