This Week

This week was busy...Andy was out of town Tuesday & Wednesday. Tuesday was extremely uneventful - Amanda says you're either going 90 miles an hour, or at a dead stop - Wednesday, I barely had time to go to the bathroom. I love it when its like that, and when Andy's out of town it usually takes a day or two for things to "trickle down". I'm excited about Team Dixie-James...I stand to learn a lot from this job, and I am ready. I have started to really get a feel for what I do, how to "read" Andy, and what kinds of important info he's likely to leave out.

I really don't know how many people, or who all reads this blog. I wish it was more than it is. I wish that I "rated" enough for some of the LPC staffers to read this blog, however meaningless it is. It is a "window" to my thoughts, and that's something that I want people to have, but can't directly give them a ladder for them to get up to that window. I've felt much more introverted since I've been here...I think its partly b/c I am outside the LPC "clique", and because I tend to act like a turtle when I am out of my comfort zone. Dan gave Lily a sunflower, and its blooming...mom suggested that I invite Dan over to see it. Now, I know that she didn't mean to imply that I was inviting Dan over for any other reason than to see that sunflower; but the notion that it might be taken that way just is to much for me to handle. I feel like I "sympathize" with the "overweight, single woman"...that I'm invisible.

~~BOY, this blog is really all over the place!!!~~

But, sometimes I look at myself and think...I am pretty. I know I am a great person, and that my "looks" will fade. I just wonder about the person that God might have chosen for me: what do they like, how will we meet, what will be the deciding factor that makes us like each other? You meet people - men - and you sometimes don't think much of it...until you realize that you like that person. Oh well... just some left over bullshit from my last relationship.

I read Cammie's blog, and think...why don't I think like this? She's so thoughtful, and thankful. She seems well-rounded, and gets all her chores done. I remember when I used to do all that stuff. Except the laundry...I NEVER did the laundry. Until Lily and I lived alone, in Jasper. I always did the laundry there. I didn't have a washer and dryer to pile clean clothes on top of. Another tangent.......

Long story, short...I am happy, and satisfied here. I have grown to understand that I am different. My life is different, my family is different, and me and Lily and different from other mother/ daughter pairs. We're unique, and special...and we are making our own way.

So, from Cammie's borrowed laptop...I say "goodnight". And, Andy, if you read this...I sure do like having a laptop at home. :)