Life is Happening...

Every day, whether we like it or not. I stole my title from Andy's blog...but it seemed appropriate given what today has brought on. One of my very best friends had surgery today for ovarian cancer. I do not know the details, but I am sure doctors removed her ovaries and also took some of the tumor from her abdomen. Her sister emailed several of us this news today. I knew that she was going for tests yesterday, her doctor found that her liver and spleen were enlarged...I just couldn't imagine something this terrible. I know everything happens for a reason, and that God is in control; but I am selfish and I don't want to lose my friend and I don't want her to suffer. I couldn't take my eyes off the word "chemotherapy", in the email from her sister...just sat and stared and thought about the effects it will have on her body, and the way she will feel, and how scared she must be. I wish I could be there with her to encourage her. But I'm not. I guess that's what I'm struggling with the most, knowing that I can't just drive downtown to Parkridge and see her. I had to shut myself in the bathroom here...then Andy came to see what was wrong, I could hardly tell him. I didn't want to say it, it would make me cry more (ya'll who know me, know I hate to cry)...but I finally got it out. Then it was over...I started to calm down, to realize that God is in control.
Sometimes its just so hard to be a grown-up...Lily has no clue why her uncle Terry died, or what cancer is. She has no clue right now that one of my best friends in laid up in the hospital, scared that she's going to die. She is thinking about Tom Davis, how short the time was before he was gone...all I can do is pray, because life is happening.

Was I in the Hospital?

Nothing says "I love you" quite like a big bouquet of hospital flowers! Did I miss something? Did I have outpatient surgery??? Please tell me I had my stomach stapled!

I received these flowers from my "ex" boyfriend Jason...he ordered them on Monday, but failed to tell the florist anything but the name of the company I work for, and the city we're in. So, no surprise that I didn't get them Monday! Its not that they aren't pretty...they are...its that Jason always sends roses, and to get these is like a step down. Several steps down from roses. I don't even prefer roses...that's just what he sends! I am a creature of habit...and I am used to - when I get flowers from Jason - getting roses. If I was the one sending the flowers, and I sent him anything other than what I always send, he would be suspicious. They are pretty...the more I sit here and look at the picture, I do like them. They're just not what I'm used to. It would be like me going to Big River Grille, and the waiter telling me they are out of pepperjack nachos!
Yes, I am whining about the flowers, because they're not what I always get. How dumb is that?! Pretty dumb...


Stay tuned...for 10 things that you can only do in the Bay.

Ru Ru

This is Rudy, the clone of George. He's 10 months old, and weighs 7 lbs. Yeah, I'm his proud momma! He's such a good kitty!

Ho Hum...

Its just another day in the Bay...I'm the only one in the office, the doors are open so there's a nice breeze. Lori refuses to let us turn on the AC...I mean, we're allowed too, but she complains and turns it off. She thinks she is the queen of the world. I like her a lot, but she is loud and opinionated. But, we can all be loud and opinionated sometimes. The breeze is nice though...its been looking like it might rain, and the weather channel said scattered thunderstorms. I haven't seen a drop of rain yet though.
Kelly Conwell posted on my last blog. I've emailed her twice...but no response. I'm starting to think that my comment about missing talking to her [about her] may have offended her???? No, not Kelly! :)
I adopted a kitty today. I know Mom's gonna be pissed, but Lily and I have wanted a cat so long; but couldn't have one b/c we lived under my parents' jurisdiction. I thought, Haley has a house...we can all get together over there. I don't want them to stop coming over, but I can't keep telling Lily she can't have a cat. I want her to have a pet here...and the goldfish I got that time didn't work out. Plus, we're rescuing this sweet little guy from an animal shelter. We were going to get a puppy...but the more I thought about it, I realized that I don't have the time or the desire to have another "baby". And that's exactly what puppies are; they're like having another baby! Besides, I can make sure the cat is brushed all the time, and they make anti-dander shampoo.

Mom picked up my other phone, the one Jason had. He's a crazy person, nuf said. If you are my friend, you know what happened. Wait...do other people besides my friends/ family read my blog??? Nah...but once someone from Canada read a post of mine. I was so proud! :)

Better get to work.

Monday Monday...

Back in the Bay after a trip to Tennessee over the weekend...I was so anxious to get to TN (really Ft. O), and the drive up was nothing. But the drive back was so freakin long! I still haven't unpacked everything, it sucked to come home to things in boxes. Good new, Dad got my dryer hooked up and put up my new mailbox. I even got one piece of mail, but it wasn't addressed to me.

Here's the best part of my day: Celebs are just as fat and stupid looking when they're pregnant!!!! Tori Spelling could at least wear something cute, instead of this over-sized looking polo shirt and other crap. Geeze! I have better fashion sense!

My Beachy Bean

Lily in Gulf Shores, AL

Gulf Shores & All Kinds of Stuff

Last night was our first night in Maralago, the swanky house we're staying in. I say its swanky b/c I don't think I've ever stayed ina vacation house this nice. Its got 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, and a golf cart you can drive to the beach. We all went to the beach today, and we were having a a great time until Lily tripped running from a wave and fell on her face in the surf. It was pitiful, she got all wet and we had to leave the beach for the day. She got her jacket wet, that's why we had to stay off the beach for the day...its so cold and windy.
Lily is enjoying being with Kate, and the other baby, also named Lily. Cammie and I went on a little bike ride last night; it was probably really late...didn't look at the time. Of course, I've been fighting non-stop with Jason since I've been down here. Funny how all that stuff he promised (supporting me, standing behind me, trusting me) went out the window when I got here. I guess he is just showing his true colors. He was all bent out of shape about me coming here, wanted to know what the sleeping arragements were/ are. I told him there were 3 bedrooms, but that wasn't good enough. He wanted to know who I was going to be sleeping with. He is so screwed up in the head...its so sad. Hard to believe that this is the person that was so wonderful, not 2 weeks ago. He just doesn't believe that I could possibly be faithful to him. I guess he's better off alone. I bought and sent him a cell phone, added a line to my plan. The phone was free, so its not like I'm out money on that...I sent it yesterday, so he should have it today. I haven't heard from him, but we didn't have the best conversation last night. I was a little tipsy and he (as usual) was being an asshole.
Lily is swimming...Andy and Kate were here, but they ditched us when Kate pooped her pants. Lily has befriended 2 older ladies, she is officially introducing herself to them now...getting their names, and sharing hers. I remember being like that when I was a kid...she's so sweet and cute. Her teacher at school told Mom that the studies were a little elementary for her. She's a freakin genius!!
We're about to go back to Maralago and I'm going to get a beer. Lily's gonna take a bath.

Thinking of you, during my first vacation in 3 years!

BSL

Well, I'm officially moved to the Bay...in 'my' house, and working. Lily started her new pre-k yesterday, and she really likes it. She played with a girl named Anna Marie yesterday-that's a good French, Catholic name.

Jason's been flaky...I've been going out with some women (Haley, and some Lagniappe women, and Cammie); so he has been really pissed about that. Saying, he knows how I am when I drink. I'm NOT getting blizted at Outback, ok! And yes, we did go thru a drive-thru daquiri hut; but I drank my daquiri when I got home. Well...some of it. It was frozen and too cold. Its in my fridge right now. Jason would DIE if he knew that I went to a drive thru daquiri hut! Hehehehe. I bought him a cell phone, added him to my plan; but now I'm rethinking whether or not I should send it to him. He's being such a moron...and he knows it too!

I am going to Gulf Shores with Andy, Cammie, and our girls...we're meeting up with his brother and sis-in-law and their daughter, Lily. Cammie and I bought the girls matching bikini's from Target. They're so cute! I am looking forward to having fun with friends.

Well, its time [probably] to get back to work. Andy is letting me off today at 2:00 so I can pack.

Is This a Chick?

nuf said...

The Kitchen of My "New" House

This is the kitchen of the house I'm renting...for $450/mo. Its about 900 sq/ft, and its SO cute. I paid a deposit on it today.

Among other news, I found out that I've been divorced since November, so I can marry! I am so thankful for the way things are turning out. Things are really falling into place for me [and Jason] living here. I am headed back to TN tomorrow to pack up my house and make my home in BSL!

The Realtors Down Here SUCK!!!!!

They don't give 2 shits about helping me find a place. I looked at a house in BSL that is cute, [smelled funny]...the realtor didn't really act like she cared one way or the other about showing it. Probably b/c she doesn't make any money from rentals. It is brick, 3/4 bedrooms, ONE bathroom...a "jack & jill" style bathroom. It has tile all through the house, which I don't like. I guess it would be easy to keep clean with 2 kids. I told the realtor that Jason and Kara would be moving down, called him my boyfriend...Mom was quick to interject that we were getting married.
She doesn't seem to like the idea of us getting married, and commented that I just can't wait [can I]. Its like parents don't remember that they went out on a limb when they got married. Jason and I know its going to be work, not every day, not ever week...but we will have to work at it. I haven't even felt like I understood before, or that the person that I was with understood that married/ longterm relationship would take WORK. It is very assuring to me. I am happy and I am confident. But still,"it feels right" isn't an acceptable reason to get married...not even I love him, he loves me, we want to have a family, BE a family.
I sent Jason flowers today, I guess he hasn't gotten them b/c he hasn't said anything about them. He called as I was pulling out of yet another apartment complex that didn't have anything available. I was/ am stressed and a little irritable and I know he could tell...I really miss him. I was walking on the beach yesterday and kept thinking how much better it would be to be walking while the girls played; with his arm around my shoulders. I can't hardly stand it!!! He is coming at the end of March.
Well...I'm sitting with Cammie and I'm done.
Later Gators!

My Beautiful [not that kind] Ring

Isn't it gorgeous!!! I love it. The only terrible thing is, I've lost a diamond! Jason is going to take it back tomorrow and do I don't know what with it. He's talked about another ring he says he should have bought. So, who knows...Thursday I may be posting a picture of a different ring! He was pretty ticked, since we've only had it a week. But I don't blame him. I couldn't help but laugh when I noticed the missing diamond...knowing he would be mad. He wants to make sure I have the best.

Things have really been great this week. We made a pact to have a great week. I am going to miss him so much! I don't even want to think about not being able to see him every day. Mom said it was good for her and Dad when they were in college. I just can't imaging much I'll miss him if he doesn't move.

Ok, enough mushy BS...geeze! Who has thrown up over my barfy blog??? :)

Yey for me!!!

Well...the countdown has begun, this morning when I clocked in. I currently have 33 hrs & 50 [work hours] minutes until I am FREE from Covenant!!!

I have been upset about leaving Jason behind, but we seem to have come to agreement on how to remedy that problem: He will move! Its gonna be big, for him and me. This is much more of a commitment than just "being boyfriend & girlfriend", for him to move all the way down there for me. I can't keep worrying that people will think we're rushing. I have to keep telling myself, I can't expect people to understand how we feel; I don't need people to understand how we feel. I just can't shake that thought...why do I crave approval? I really hope that instead of wondering what people will think, that I can just soke up the fact that I have something that few people find: someone who loves me, makes me laugh a million times a day, makes me feel beautiful, smart, funny, etc. Yes, we argue [over really dumb stuff], but who doesn't argue??? We always apologize, make up, and try as hard as we can not to do it again. He has made such progress and come so far, since this summer. He told me last night he would support and stand behind me not matter what. I don't think that's something he could have told Kallie. She didn't love him and respect him enough to have his love and respect. I just feel really good about it, and really happy. We're going to stay in our little bubble as long as we can...hope this bubble is stretchy!

Ick

Ohmiga....why are these people famous?
She's orange, and he's red (and has old man body going on). Jon Bon Jovi should kick him out of the band!















Denise Richards & Richie Sambora

Poor Doc-Man

Well, Mom & Dad decided while they were in town they should take Doc to the Vet and get his mega-roid checked out. Turns out, it was stage 4 inoperable cancer. Dootsie said Doc was in pain and there was nothing he could do for him. So, I guess Doc's already been put to sleep. Poor thing. I really never thought he would last this long, after Ivy died in the summer. But he actually seemed to enjoy being a widower. I don't know, maybe she nagged him a lot. Mom was upset about it, but so were Haley and I. I'm sure Dad is bummed too.

Jason told me last night that he returned the Valentine's gift he got me. I asked him what it was, and at first he wouldn't tell me. Then he told me it was a ring. NOT an engagement ring, but a big silver ring ("like the kind you wear" he said) with about 40 diamonds. It didn't bother me then, but he said that he could bear to give it to me knowing that I'm leaving for MS. Now that I think about it, seems like he should want me to have it in MS...to remind me. Not that I'm gonna forget that I have boyfriend until I look at my hand, but to remind me how we feel and what we have. I guess he doesn't think like that.

I found the cutest house in BSL! I love it, and can totally imagine me and the Bean living there.

Its 2 bedroom, 1 bath, hardwood floors. Its nice. Its listed with one real estate company, but the lady I'm working with - Sessie Manieri - can probably help me out and still get commission.

Lily is staying - alternately - with Ben and his parents until next Friday...I talked to him today, and he said that Lily has "enough on her mind right now" (he didn't want to tell her about Doc). I asked him what he meant; he said she is nervous about moving and going to a new school. I said that she will be going to a new school anyway...b/c she can't go to daycare forever. I think they are doing that on purpose. They're freaks.

Well, it snowed here. I didn't come in to work until about 11:30. I have been working on one wire all day. I am going to pack up my desk today. I have been thinking all day about what I'm going to eat for dinner tonight. I want something good.
Ok, break is WAY over...I actually started my break at 10 til 3:00! I'm not dedicated anymore...Carla is now!

Where Can I Get One of These?

Who Knew...

That sending invoices to UPS via FedEx was a bad idea???!!! Oh, the earth-shattering things that happen here!

Turned in my notice today!

BSL, here I come! ...well, in 2 weeks...

The Dora 'Do

This is Lily's new "Dora 'Do" (minus the dorky bangs). Haley cut it, and I asked her to "bob" it...Lily screwed up her face, and asked incredulously... "Like Bob the Builder???!!!" It was so funny! She was worried that Haley was going to cut her hair like Bob the Builder! Bless her. She loves it. It looks great on her. It lays really great, and stayed turned under even after her sleeping on it all night (in MY bed).

I am Dumb...

For saying this: "but I have Jason. He has pledged to help me out if I have surgery on my ankle. Such a sweet man, a good man."

By "good" & "sweet", I really meant "distrusting" and "irrational". Silly me!

For the record, NO I would NOT let a male friend kiss me. Wait...I don't have male friends! So, there is no way anyone [but Jason] would have a chance to kiss me. I am starting to think maybe I should find someone else to kiss though. Oh, I have Bean...I love her sugar (see previous post).