Have I Finally Learned???

Lately, I have been let down a lot. I guess I should say in the past year I've been let down a lot. And it doesn't seem to be letting up.
Mostly, its Ben these days. He quit his job, right after Xmas...that's a dumb thing to do when your ordered by the court to carry insurance on your kid. What's up with fathers these days? Its seems like the vast majority of them don't want to actually BE fathers. Ok, I shouldn't say the majority, but I know several that should be drug out in the street and shot. How does one come to the conclusion that they are not going to support one's child? Or how does a person think its ok to quit a job, when they have financial obligations, without having another job lined up first? And then comes the lying about money...does he really not have the cash, or is he just turning into a big, fat, LOSER?
For some reason, this is not helping me feel better or answering any of my questions.

SIGH

I made a resolution last Thursday [after I nearly had a mental breakdown]: I am not going to be Ben's friend anymore. Why would I want to be his friend in the first place; you ask? Well, I thought it would be a good thing for me and him to be friends, "for Lily's sake". WRONG. Being friends with your ex-husband allows him to continue to take advantage of you...he's gonna keep on lying to you, just like he did when you were married. Friends will let things slide that non-friends wouldn't. Also, friends lie to each other. I have no reason to lie to Ben...there's no need for me to fudge on how much money I make, or what my bills are. No reason to say I'll be available, when I won't be. Sometimes I think he does it on purpose, just to piss me off. But then I think, "no, he's just unbelievably selfish". And for some reason, I just can't wrap my brain around the fact that he is never going to stop letting me down. He's never going to step up and be a man, or ever act like a real dad should. He's going to live his life never changing, never growing, and continually losing the people that he loves b/c of his selfishness. But I'm serious this time. I think I finally get it; I'm better off without him, and he'll never live up to my expectations (which, BTW are NOT unreasonably high). Let this be a lesson to other women in my shoes...they're NEVER going to change. Once a lying, cheating, absentee father; always a lying, cheating, absentee father. And all you can do is the best you can with your kid, and continue to question and beat yourself up wondering WHY did I marry him? But I can say without a doubt, that I would do it all over again in a heartbeat to have Lily. I guess that's the pearl in this oyster, that is single parenting.